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The least attentive Federation outpost, ever … November 24, 2009

Posted by Steve in Fiction, Movies.
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First off, “Star Trek” with Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, et al., is a lot of fun and an awesome movie and I plan to watch it again and again.

But my wife calls me “The Plot King” and my friend TW often praises my bullshit detector when it comes to fiction plots, so when I see a plot problem I can’t keep myself from jumping on it. So …

SPOILERS BELOW … SPOILERS BELOW … SPOILERS BELOW …

One bit of “Star Trek” that bugged me was the sequence in which Kirk, marooned on a small planet in the Vulcan system, runs into the Future Spock AND the Present Montgomery Scott. I know, I know … you think I’m about to harp on the convenience of that little coincidence, right? Wrong. Yeah, it’s too convenient, yeah I’d have handled it differently if I’d written it, but it is what it is and at least the movie kept moving swiftly forward.

No, my problem is with that Federation outpost to which Scotty was exiled in the first place, because I can’t figure out why it was there.

The planet, as we plainly see when Future Spock explains his presence there to Kirk, is close enough to Vulcan that a person can see Vulcan looming like a large moon in the sky. So … why doesn’t Scotty, who is on the same little planet near Vulcan in a facility full of sophisticated Federation gear, seem to notice or care that Vulcan has just been gobbled up by an artificial black hole?

Were there no tell-tale alarms in the place? Does this outpost not monitor anything? There was a large-scale space battle in this system, for crying out loud. Federation ships turned into space scrap left and right. Scotty had the best seat in the house for the whole thing, and presumably could monitor all the communications from the battle. He was in a position to see things that perhaps could not be seen from Vulcan’s surface. He certainly should have been able to fill in knowledge gaps for the Federation fleet BEFORE it got blasted to smithereens. (“Federation outpost, this is Captain Pike, U.S.S. Enterprise. What’s the situation?”)

And then there’s this: He’s Montgomery Scott, damn it, and he’s apparently got a nifty transporter on site. I’m thinking Scotty should have been able to use that thing to save at least some Federation crew members, or some key Vulcan personnel, or even turn the transporter into a weapon against the Romulans.

Billions died within sight of Scotty’s station. But what does Scotty want to talk about when Kirk and Future Spock arrive? He’d like a sandwich.

C’mon, scriptwriters. No one builds a fancy Federation outpost on an icy planet with big monsters just to make a scriptwriter’s life easier. That outpost has to be doing something. Apparently, though, this one wasn’t monitoring nearby space or relaying communications. It wasn’t even listed in the Enterprise’s computers, as far as I can tell. Heck, it apparently wasn’t even adequately feeding its two personnel.

I see one bright spot, though. This outpost world in all likelihood was in orbit around Vulcan. Otherwise, the imploding planet would not have looked so large from the surface. So, with Vulcan gone, this entirely useless waste of Federation resources may be spinning its way to a fiery death in Vulcan’s sun.

– Steve

The pen is mightier, but the sword is a lot of fun … November 23, 2009

Posted by Steve in Fiction.
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For the past year, I’ve been writing a newspaper/online column focused on hot-button issues. Most of the topics I wrote about hovered in that area where politics, religion and science meet.

The column took a lot of energy, required a lot of reading and keeping up-to-date on things — and usually resulted in some online conversation (read “wrestling in mud with rabid alligators”). It was fun at times, exhausting at other times, frustrating most of the time. And it diverted an awful lot of my energy away from writing fiction, and this blog. If you’ve been wondering where the hell I’ve been, that’s where.

I’ve decided to put the column, “It’s Debatable,” to rest, to the dismay of some and to the no-doubt great joy of others. It’s not an easy call for me to make, but the silver lining is that I ought to be able to channel all the energy that went into the column and put it into fiction instead. That’s a silver lining for me, anyway. I suppose it remains to be seen whether it is a silver lining for the reading public.

So, later tonight I will sip some good bourbon and let my mind dwell on Calthus of Thaal, Spider John Quail, Otrossius and his poor sidekick Lacius. I’ll let my mental cinema screen show me images of violence and grandeur, danger and mayhem, beauty and beasts. Sooner or later, a story will emerge and I’ll write it — and all will be well.

This blog will be more active, too — but don’t expect things to get political or controversial as in the past. Nerdy, semi-literary pulpy goodness more likely will be the order of the day.

– Steve

Of tentacles and sword-and-sorcery and dark things inside you … October 30, 2009

Posted by Steve in Books, Fiction.
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Suddenly, I have new fiction cropping up in delightfully strange places.

tentaclescover First off, “The Book of Tentacles” will be available from Sam’s Dot Publishing in November. Tucked among the thirty or so tales you’ll find behind that really cool cover will be one from me, called “The Temple of Squoad.” This is a darkly humorous sword-and-sorcery piece in my series about Otrossius the demigod and his hapless companion Lacius. If you’ve encountered those two in the “Black Dragon, White Dragon” anthology from Ricasso Press or perhaps at Big Pulp, then you know at least a bit of what to expect. If these characters are new to you, I’ll simply say this isn’t Conan or Fafhrd and the Mouser. I hope you’ll enjoy them.

The stories in this antho are not all sword-and-sorcery, by the way, but they’re all … tentacle-ish. Some horror, some science fiction, some probably unclassifiable stuff — and me. It ought to be a lot of fun.

Camille Alexa, who used to drop by these parts now and then back when I had time to blog once a week or so, also has a story in this book.

In other news, I’ve learned that Every Day Fiction wants my horror flash “Waiting to Pounce” for its “Best of Every Day Fiction 2009″ anthology. More details on that when I get them, but I can say the 2008 edition from EDF is the handsomest edition on my vanity shelf — and I am damned glad to be in the next rendition. I know Deven Atkinson and Bill Ward are in there too, and probably a bunch of other people I should mention. I promise a link to the table of contents when that’s available.

“Waiting to Pounce,” a tale of a dark thing that might be inside you, or me, at this very moment, is the kind of horror I seem to do best — creepy, freaky and utterly plausible.

Lastly, here’s a reminder that I’ll have a Calthus story (that’s right, Calthus — sword-and-sorcery antihero raised from Hell in a new body to kick ass in a world he does not recognize) coming in the “Through Blood and Iron” antho from Ricasso Press. Editor Rob Santa wanted action, action and more action flavored with a little action, and he thought my story “Deep as Death” fit the bill.

It feels good to know my most popular sword-and-sorcery character is back in action. Damned good.

– Steve

Calthus swinging his blade again … October 7, 2009

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Calthus, my resurrected sword-and-sorcery hero, will roar into the fray once again in “Through Blood and Iron,” an action-packed anthology in the works from Ricasso Press.

Editor Rob Santa said he wanted action, action, mayhem and more action for this collection. My tale, the never-before-published  “Deep as Death,” attempts to deliver on that work order. The story has sex, violence, more violence, a death trap, snakes, fire, intrigue, magic and more violence. More details, when I get them.

By the way, this will be the fifth Calthus tale to see publication.

I also hear that TW Williams will have a John Humble story in the book. The table of contents is still shaping up on this one, but if you’ve already got Calthus and John Humble, ain’t that enough?

Seriously, if you like the sword-and-sorcery stuff, keep your eyes peering into that crystal ball for news about this one.

– Steve

Another Goble waxes poetic … September 26, 2009

Posted by Steve in Poetry.
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