The least attentive Federation outpost, ever … November 24, 2009
Posted by Steve in Fiction, Movies.Tags: Fiction, Movies, Writing
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First off, “Star Trek” with Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Simon Pegg, et al., is a lot of fun and an awesome movie and I plan to watch it again and again.
But my wife calls me “The Plot King” and my friend TW often praises my bullshit detector when it comes to fiction plots, so when I see a plot problem I can’t keep myself from jumping on it. So …
SPOILERS BELOW … SPOILERS BELOW … SPOILERS BELOW …
One bit of “Star Trek” that bugged me was the sequence in which Kirk, marooned on a small planet in the Vulcan system, runs into the Future Spock AND the Present Montgomery Scott. I know, I know … you think I’m about to harp on the convenience of that little coincidence, right? Wrong. Yeah, it’s too convenient, yeah I’d have handled it differently if I’d written it, but it is what it is and at least the movie kept moving swiftly forward.
No, my problem is with that Federation outpost to which Scotty was exiled in the first place, because I can’t figure out why it was there.
The planet, as we plainly see when Future Spock explains his presence there to Kirk, is close enough to Vulcan that a person can see Vulcan looming like a large moon in the sky. So … why doesn’t Scotty, who is on the same little planet near Vulcan in a facility full of sophisticated Federation gear, seem to notice or care that Vulcan has just been gobbled up by an artificial black hole?
Were there no tell-tale alarms in the place? Does this outpost not monitor anything? There was a large-scale space battle in this system, for crying out loud. Federation ships turned into space scrap left and right. Scotty had the best seat in the house for the whole thing, and presumably could monitor all the communications from the battle. He was in a position to see things that perhaps could not be seen from Vulcan’s surface. He certainly should have been able to fill in knowledge gaps for the Federation fleet BEFORE it got blasted to smithereens. (“Federation outpost, this is Captain Pike, U.S.S. Enterprise. What’s the situation?”)
And then there’s this: He’s Montgomery Scott, damn it, and he’s apparently got a nifty transporter on site. I’m thinking Scotty should have been able to use that thing to save at least some Federation crew members, or some key Vulcan personnel, or even turn the transporter into a weapon against the Romulans.
Billions died within sight of Scotty’s station. But what does Scotty want to talk about when Kirk and Future Spock arrive? He’d like a sandwich.
C’mon, scriptwriters. No one builds a fancy Federation outpost on an icy planet with big monsters just to make a scriptwriter’s life easier. That outpost has to be doing something. Apparently, though, this one wasn’t monitoring nearby space or relaying communications. It wasn’t even listed in the Enterprise’s computers, as far as I can tell. Heck, it apparently wasn’t even adequately feeding its two personnel.
I see one bright spot, though. This outpost world in all likelihood was in orbit around Vulcan. Otherwise, the imploding planet would not have looked so large from the surface. So, with Vulcan gone, this entirely useless waste of Federation resources may be spinning its way to a fiery death in Vulcan’s sun.
– Steve
Set phasers to “Kick Ass!” May 11, 2009
Posted by Steve in Movies, Reviews.Tags: Movies, Reviews
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… in other words, the new “Star Trek” movie rocks.
We all are living in an altered timeline, in which odd-numbered Trek films don’t suck. This new reality thread we share bodes well for the future of the Trek franchise.
I will not include any spoilers here. I will simply say that this longtime fan found nothing to complain about with this “reboot” — it works within the context of the established Trek multiverse just fine. The cast is good, the movie felt like Trek and it moves along at high warp throughout.
This particular Trek offering is not high on cerebral content, and you’ll spot one or two minor plot flaws. But if you enjoy Trek, I think you’ll enjoy this. And the movie leaves plenty of room for something more brain-heavy next time out. For now just grab some popcorn, silence your communicator and beam yourself to the cineplex.
Engage!
– Steve
I was watching the Watchmen … March 17, 2009
Posted by Steve in Movies, Reviews.Tags: Movies, Reviews
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I saw “Watchmen” during the weekend, and I think the filmmakers did a good — almost great — job of turning this deconstructionist comic series into a movie.
The essential elements were there. The Alan Moore technique of plunging the viewers into the story and letting them sort things out for themselves was there. The iconic visual imagery employed by comic artist Dave Gibbons was there. The moral ambiguities were all there.
If you enjoyed the comic series, I think you’ll enjoy this movie. It is quite faithful to the source material.
The downsides? Number one has to be Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II. She certainly looks the part of a butt-kicking hottie in spandex, but other than faking an orgasm she shows no ability to act at all. This is a huge problem, because Silk Spectre and Nite Owl II (portrayed decently by Patrick Wilson) form the emotional center of the story. Akerman’s inability to be believable as that emotional center is what makes “Watchmen” fall short of its potential.
All of the other costumed adventurers in the story are detached from humanity. Rorschach (portrayed by Jackie Earle Haley, who nailed it) has been swallowed by the dark side of fighting crime; whatever heroic aspects he might once have had, he now is far more interested in punishing people than in saving anyone. The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) ought to have been put down like a dog a long time ago; convinced life is all a big joke, he behaves precisely the way many a Christian seems to think all atheists should naturally behave — he does what he wants, when he wants, and he laughs off the harm he does in the process. Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) is so far beyond humanity that he scarcely recalls his own human nature. Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) thinks he’s God.
With all that going on, Nite Owl and Silk Spectre have to be our “entry point” characters. They have to be the ones who are human enough for viewers to connect with. I thought Patrick Wilson did a decent job of this; Akerman made me cringe with almost every line delivery. And because Silk Spectre and Nite Owl are supposed to be that ray of hope in an otherwise pretty damned bleak story, the filmmakers needed to cast someone other than eye candy as Silk Spectre II.
Other than that, I thought it was an amazing movie.
If you are not familiar with the graphic novel, you should realize this is NOT “Spider-Man” or “Superman Returns.” In terms of darkness, the story makes “The Dark Knight” look like a Shirley Temple flick. The violence is graphic, there are no fadeouts before the sex scenes, the language is not so tame as “Holy buckets of badness, Batman!” The heroes are not particularly heroic. And if the idea of seeing a big blue dong bothers you, um, stay away, because you’ll be seeing quite a bit of it.
– Steve
